Reconnecting

Recently I was reconnected to someone I worked with about 25 years ago.  I hadn’t seen them or spoken to them since that time.  But the amazing thing is, it was like we just picked up where we left off.  Sure, a ton of things happened in both our lives over the years, but, it’s like we spoke yesterday.

It’s funny,  because it seems in the past 5 years, I have been reconnecting with people from my past with mostly the same experience.  You think you’ll never see them again, and then, bam!  There they are just like you left them with more experience and a little older.  I also find it amazing how memories and feelings come flooding back, things you hadn’t even thought about over the years. It’s like opening up a filing cabinet in your brain and pulling out file with the information that has been stored there for years.

You just never know when you’ll reconnect with people from your past, so always leave people with a heart full of love.

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Solitude

I’ve been away from home for just over a week performing for a summer theatre company in Petrolia, Ontario.  Nine days to be exact.  I usually hate being alone and away from family.  To tell the truth, I was always afraid of getting depressed when I was left alone with my own mind.  But this time is different.  I really needed this time away from everything that was everyday.  I had over extended myself and just didn’t enjoy anything anymore.  My brain was full.  I also fear that I have been getting addicted to stupid games on my tablet and Facebook.  I hate those notices that tell me someone has commented or posted something. Have to figure out how to stop those from showing up because they distract me and my OCD hates seeing little notifications and not responding to them.

This time away has made me realize that I have to stop working after hours.  To not check email after supper or on the weekend.  I have to turn everything off!  I need time to just do nothing, enjoy time with my husband and family, even if it’s to watch a movie together.  I need to make more time to visit family members and keep in touch with friends.  I don’t want life to get so busy that busy is my life.  I hate it when you ask someone “how are you?” and they respond “so busy”.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for them?  Agree with them?  I don’t want to be that someone saying “so busy”.

I’m grateful for this solitude.  Only three more days left of it and then back home to life.  I plan to make some real changes when I get home.

Ordinary Miracles

Singer/songwriter Amy Sky wrote a song called “Ordinary Miracles”.  It’s about her children and the everyday miracles that come with motherhood…a child taking their first step, riding a bike, driving a car, falling in love.

It takes me back to my own experience of raising my two sons who are now young adult men.  How I cherish those step by step moments of their growing up.  How was it that I was given the greatest gift of being their mother?  Me, mothering, nurturing, and teaching them how to be good human beings.  Gratifying beyond belief.  I sure do miss those early years.

They have both grown up to be fine young men.  I’ve had to take a back seat (sometimes literally).  However, I’m still there for them, but in a different way.  I like to think of myself as a “Jimmie Cricket”, the little conscious on their shoulder.  Guiding and steering them in the right direction when needed.

Sharing my life with these two boys have been beautiful, gratifying, and awesome.  Indeed, ordinary miracles.

Loosing my brother

Losing my youngest brother Aldo to cancer when he was just 31 years old was one of the hardest things I’ve been through.   I’m constantly remembering him as a little boy with his charming and beautiful personality.  Aldo was one of those “really great” kids – a “good boy”.   Always trying to make you laugh with his wonderful sense of humour and goofiness.  He was loved so much by all his six siblings.  Being that 5 of us were female, I think we each kind of mothered him in our own way.  Everyone had their own special relationship with him.  He left behind a beautiful little boy who is now a young teenager.  I find myself looking for glimpses of Aldo in him, and each time I do, it makes me feel like he’s still here with us.  I miss my baby brother so much.